The Secrets We All Hold
by PearlM21
Summary: Madam Red has some early morning thoughts on the true nature of her reaper companion.


I own nothing except for my own ideas.

Madam Red has some early morning thoughts on the true nature of her reaper companion.

The Secrets We All Hold

Angelina began to stir when a few rays of sunlight snuck through the curtains and hit her face. She rolled over still half asleep and realized the other side of the bed was empty; her reaper companion nowhere to be seen. She deduced he couldn't have been gone long, since his side was still a little warm.

She sat up stretching a bit and slid into her slippers. She then set out to see if he were still around somewhere. Being what he was, he did often just come and go without warning, but he did usually try to mention if he had to leave for a job at some point.

Her search soon took her to a little terrace outside of her bedroom where she found the creature in question. She was going to go and greet him, but stopped herself. He hadn't seen her, and something made her just want to observe. Angelina was just so surprised to see Grell: the overly energetic, vivacious, and flamboyant grim reaper who could fly into a rage at any given moment look so well; normal. There he was sitting at a table on the terrace casually sipping tea. She didn't think she had ever seen him look so calm, serene, and clearly lost in his own thoughts.

She wondered what really went through his head. Who was the real person behind the façade? Everyone has one. She knows all too well. Ciel put one up that was strong and emotionless to protect himself against the realities of the horrors of his childhood. Lizzy put one up in order to try and make Ciel happy. And she, well, she couldn't even begin to analyze all the different facades she put on. She'd rather not think on that. Still, some thoughts on the issue crept into the conscious portion of her mind. No. Right now she wasn't a murderer. Right now she was Madam Red: the dazzling socialite who men flocked to at every gathering, though even that was a façade in itself; the shy, self conscious bookworm still remaining at her core. Her insecurities still always followed her like a shadow, wherever she went.

Not wanting to dwell on those unpleasant thought any longer, she forced her mind to focus on the subject at hand. What was the core self of Grell Sutcliff like? She always had a feeling that maybe deep down; he was just as insecure and miserable as she was. You don't get to be as messed up in the head as the both of them were by being emotionally healthy. However it was the little things he did sometimes that made her think on this and even the things he did without realizing it. Although she knew that idiotic butler routine was far too drastic from his personality to be his real one, she wondered if there was any ring of truth to it anywhere. There were the times when he would let his guard down ever so slightly, and she saw a glimmer of seriousness and sadness in his eyes. Then there was how he would sometimes cling to her tightly in his sleep; in clear distress and very upset about something. She never woke him up or told him about this obviously. His temper was way too unpredictable. She had no idea how he would react to her seeing him in any sort of vulnerable state. She would simply do what she could to comfort him in his sleep until he relaxed.

It should also be noted that she was a doctor and science lover at heart and was desperately curious to learn more about his kind. His first name was curious in its own right. However the nature of grim reapers absolutely fascinated her. She will never forget the first time he accidently cut himself on a sharp edge of a glass. She went to treat it, but he assured her that it was fine and watched in awe as the wound closed up by itself in under a minute.

Grim reapers must be a very secretive society and species because she could never get him to divulge anything. Every time she tried to get the slightest detail about his kind or his home realm, he would just give her this irritated look that reminded her of a look a parent gives their child when they say something they weren't supposed to, except with a slightly more menacing flair, which was a bit of an unusual look for him. Despite one of his stated reasons for assisting her in her "nighttime activities" for not being able to have or specifically carry children (if grim reapers can actually reproduce in a normal fashion is another question I would love to ask), he wasn't particularly parental in nature. Grell was a little bit too much of a "live in the moment" kind of person among other things for that. Although he appeared to be around her age, that and a few other of his mannerisms and his way of speaking gave her the impression that he may actually be a lot older than he looks. With how she saw him heal first hand, it wouldn't surprise her if grim reapers physically aged a lot slower than humans. She mused to herself that there probably isn't a whole lot that could surprise her at this point. She has a grim reaper living with her after all.

She unfortunately had accepted the fact for quite a while, that even though her scientific brain desperately wanted to conduct experiments on him, she would only just get the bare minimum in information out of him. Perhaps that was for the best. She got a glimpse into part of our world that humans weren't really meant to in life, so she decided to be grateful just for the opportunity to actually spend time with another worldly being. Yes, Grell was a being from another realm in our world, but why did he sometimes seem so human? Maybe we are more alike than we are different after all. Maybe everyone has secrets, puts on facades, and has multiple aspects to their personality where they could do both wonderful and horrible things. She thought of this on herself and on Grell; how he could be violent and vicious, how he could be playful and flamboyant, how he would get flustered in his natural form if he did something he knew displeased her, and how he could be gentle and gentlemanly; protecting her from any possible harm.

What were they to each other anyway? They were accomplices, friends, sisters, and lovers all at the same time. Considering how many time's he's worn her clothes (the first time she caught him doing this is a story in its own right), she very much doubted he regularly had romantic relationships with women. Their relationship was odd, yet special. They just connected at some deep level that she couldn't really explain. Neither of them quite seemed to fit in with the world around them, but they did fit with each other; two tortured and misguided souls; two kindred spirits, attracted to each other by their uniqueness and flaws. Perhaps they both sensed and related to each others' secrets; the secrets we all hold.

The slight grumbling in her stomach pulled her out of her thoughts. She figured she'd spent enough time in her own mind for one day and should probably get some breakfast. She decided to finally reveal herself and opened the terrace door. She hung on to her silky robe more tightly as a gusty but pleasant feeling wind hit her, making a crimson wave of her attire behind her. Grell looked up from where he was staring off into nothingness and looked at her; still in his calm and thoughtful state. A pleasant smile then came across his face, seemingly happy she came to join him. That gentle demeanor didn't last, however, and his expression quickly transitioned into an enthusiastic yet menacing smile that completely exposed all of his razor sharp teeth. His walls were now up. He was now in the state of masking his secrets; then in his smooth and seductive voice he cooed, "Good morning, Darling."


End file.
